Think About It.

https://ladypwiggins.wordpress.com/2015/03/08/have-i-missed-the-mark/

Sometimes something happens that opens up old wounds. I was watching Celebrity Marriage Bootcamp, and it happened. One of the women mistreated her husband and did not understand why she would treat someone she loved that way. As the counselors talked with her, she discovered that her behavior was the "acting out" of a little girl whose father emotionally left her. That anger was still influencing her life as an adult.

That situation woke up some feelings that I thought I had long ago resolved. Apparently, not all.
I faced it and expressed it here http://wp.me/p5mg5U-4Y.

I am now completely free.
I hope this helps someone else.

This was originally posted in Pat's Random Thoughts.

Another Food Experiment

I thought you might like this one.

Fresh from the Tree

I wish Blogger has a reblog capability but since it doesn't I will have to link it here. Until One Day -
I originally posted this on my Wordpress blog as an assignment in Wordpress' Writing 201-poetry.

I am having a good time. It is stretching me as a writer. I may never be a good poet but at least I can dabble.

The poem that received the most views was Trust- Mis -Trust  I would like to hear YOUR thoughts.


The Wordpress blog is now my primary blog. Pat's Random Thoughts

Have a very blessed day.

Reblogging My Blog called "Driven"

I am back. Still trying to coordinate my Wordpress blog with this one because I value all of my followers. Wordpress has a reblog capability if you want to post someone else's blog. I can't seem to find such an ability on Blogger.

To any Blogger users if you know how please tell me. In the mean time here is the link to the post I would like to share.

https://ladypwiggins.wordpress.com/2015/02/07/driven/

I am still interested in your comments and I am still collecting data on the best (for me) platform to use.

Wonderfully and Painfully Reposted

I had a wonderful childhood. However, the wonderful memories about my family, neighborhood, church and school are surrounded by the shadows of bigotry, hatred, Klansmen, segregation and fear. Even as children we understood the eminent danger of walking down the street in black skin.

I grew up in the Jim Crow south. Alabama to be specific. I was a child during the height of the Civil Rights movement, but I vividly remember those days from my 12 year old perspective.

I remember the Monday night meetings where we heard inspiring speeches and the protest plans and instructions for the following week.

 I remember the bombing of the 16th Street Baptist Church in Birmingham when those four little girls were slain. That morning we were preparing for church when we got the news. We didn't have email or texting in those days but it seemed we got news lightening fast. I remember not wanting to go to church because our church had received threats. When I overheard the grownups talking about the threats I wasn't afraid. Who would bomb a church? But that morning the threats were suddenly real. That could be me and my friends.

I remember wanting to go to Selma for the march and how disappointed I was when my grands told me I was too young to go. So I watched it on television in the false safety of our den. I felt every blow inside me that they experienced on the Petus Bridge. I was angry, scared, hurt for them, and angry all at the same time.  Yea, I said angry twice.

I know I felt all of this pain because I relived it last night when I viewed the movie, Selma. I was back in Alabama watching the march on television angry, hurt, in pain and angry all over again.

I commend you Ms. Ava Duvernay for the excellent job you did in educating us and reminding us. Continue to tell our story in historical accuracy and truth.

Wordpress Activities

#miscellaneousthoughts #Wordpress #Blogging101

A few week ago I decided to compare Blogger and Wordpress because there were some things I wanted to do and I couldn't get it done on Blogger. I created another blog. At the same time Wordpress invited me to a new class they were giving called Blogging 101. I have been doing those assignments and it has helped tremendously.

Among other features, I have figured out how to export this blog to the other one automatically. I just have to figure our on the Blogger end how to be selective. That is another day.
Here is the link. https://ladypwiggins.wordpress.com/where-to-begin/

 I would like you to visit the other blog and leave your comments.That is an easier process also.

What Are God's Plans for Me, You?

#spiritual #God #Godspromise

Many of us who are Christians have heard and clung to the statement, "For I know the plans I have for you." Jeremiah 29:11  We use it to explain why we should have hope and not give up when things go bad. It is a comfort during those times because it reminds us that God has our back and all of this is a part of His plan. I have found comfort from it while waiting for direction. But is that all it means? Is that the only lesson we can learn from it?

To answer these questions, I went back a few chapters to get the context. As I suspected, we have missed the full impact of this statement.

 It all comes down to a promise, the conditions and consequences of not fulfilling the conditions. God promised Judah that He would not bring calamity on them if they turned back to Him. He desired them to keep His statues and commandments and serve Him only.  If they chose to continue to disobey Him, He would gather the nations from the north to attack and King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon to enslave them for 70 years. It is recorded that the king, prophets and priests of Judah chose to continue to disobey God. God promised to destroy the king and those who did not go into captivity as He directed. Those who did go into captivity were promised time to return to God, to get to know Him and once again be His people and He their God. The captives were to build homes and grow their families as if they were home in their homeland. During this time they would learn of Him, they would seek Him call on Him and learn to serve Him with their whole being. Then they would be His people and He their God. At the end of the 70 years He would restore everything to them. This was His plan for His people.

For those of us who believe we the inheritors of Abraham's and his descendants promises by faith we can learn much from Judah's experience. If we keep the word of God that we say we believe, He will not bring calamity on us. If we choose to disobey Him count on being punished. Our captivity can be a variety of things, manifested in a variety of ways. We can become captive to habits, mental illness, anger, resentment, depression, poor finances or bad relationships. During this time, use it to get to know your God and return completely to Him. Know that He is keeping all of your "good stuff" safe and protected while you are learning. It will all be restored. This is His plan for you and me.

Arthritis - Can it Be Cured?

#arthritis #food #veggies

Arthritis is my new friend. I thought it was due to the injuries I experienced as a child and young adult. I fell so much in college that some of my friends nicknamed me "ace bandage." I wasn't overweight then but now I know my weight exacerbates my clumsy problem.  I decided to research which vegetables or oils would be beneficiary to arthritic people. It would help me, my husband and my mother.

To my surprise many of my favorite vegetables should be avoided. They are called the "nightshade" vegetables.

"The nightshades include numerous vegetables: potatoes, tomatoes, sweet peppers, hot peppers, eggplant, tomatillos, tamarillos, pepinos, pimentos, paprika, and cayenne peppers. Hot sauces made from the hot peppers are considered nightshades. Also, ground cherries, garden huckleberry, naranjillas, and even tobacco are considered nightshades."

This article also questions if that is a fact for everyone or are some people more sensitive than others. I also read the a gluten-free diet would aid in relieving the pain caused by arthritis. That seems reasonable since gluten-free keeps popping up in all inflammatory ailments that I research. So here is my dilemma. I have decided to try a gluten-free, dairy-free, vegan diet for the twenty-one days. Should I eliminate the nightshades also? I love most of the nightshades.

Ghost pepper

I find it interesting that the capsaicin in the peppers would be the reason they should be avoided. Capsaicin is in some popular arthritic pain ointments. I would also like to know how an american who grew up on potatoes and tomatoes will function without them? Can you hear that tiny violin?

In the 21 days I expect to change habits, detox and improve my spiritual well being. Still should nightshades be included in the experiment? Does anyone out there in healthy land have a suggestion? I will begin the fast on the 6th.

 

 

 

http://arthritis.about.com/od/diet/a/Are-Nightshades-Bad-For-Arthritis.htm

New Food Frontier For Me

#dairyfree #foodallergies #cooking

I had the most amazing day at Barnes and Noble. A few weeks ago I began my food experiment journey into the world of gluten-free and dairy free recipes. I am happy to report the non-dairy butter was and is awesome. I found a recipe for non-dairy shortening. I haven't tried it yet but since it is from the same cook I expect it to be amazing as well. That experience combined with my new love for certified organic foods got be excited to learn more. I went to Barnes and Noble on a search for a gluten-free, dairy-free, vegan cookbook. That was kind of silly since vegans are dairy free. :-D Nevertheless, I spent some time searching for a cookbook that would satisfy my education and cooking for my Thanksgiving dinner. I wanted to find a particular book that I had seen in an Adventist market. I didn't see it so I went to customer service like a good little researcher and asked about the book. I didn't find the book but I did discover that I had only tapped the service of Barnes and Noble's cookbooks. The WHOLE back wall contained cookbooks. I just HAD to come back another day when i could explore.

Much like that little kid at Christmas, I couldn't wait. I was so excited that I came back and purchased a gluten-free, dairy-free cookbook without the research.. I got home and decided it really did not do it for me. The next day I returned the book and spent that amazing day searching for a cookbook that would meet my needs.

I found it! I found it! I found the perfect book for me. It has recipes but it is more of a "How to make your own" book. It is a Vegan substitution cookbook, The Complete Guide to Vegan Food Substitutions by Steen and Newman. The guide explains the relationship between items used to prepare a meal for carnivores and herbivores and how to make the substitutions for the best results. As I said in the last post, I was expecting a diverse set of dietary needs to visit my home for Christmas. I needed to change my mac and cheese and sweet potato pie ingredients to accommodate animal product free, dairy free, and gluten free allergies. Rather than guessing and serving the meals with trepidation, I went boldly into the kitchen to prepare the requested dishes. The mac and cheese was a hit. I know because there was very little left over. We  ate so much that we didn't have room for the pies. That was left to today's dining experiences.

By the way, corn allergy is coming to visit for the weekend. What's one more. Corn, in some form,is in almost everything.  Read your labels people.Got to label read!

We Forgot!

#peaceonearth #respect #Christmas #joy #stress #spouse #love

I remember when I was a child this was the most inspiring, joyous time of the year. My grandmother shopped downtown listening to Christmas carols being piped through speakers on the city streets. The night air was crisp and clean. People who you didn't know, greeting you with smiles and Merry Christmas on their lips. It may have been stressful to some but it sure didn't feel like it. The list of things to be done seemed like a privilege and a joy. Giving wasn't something you had to do. People who couldn't afford to buy gifts made them. Those were usually the best ones. Sharing what you had was magnified.

But Now...

There seems to be more concern with how much I can get and how much did you pay for it. That put unnecessary stress who can't spend a lot. We forgot the joy is in the giving, however little and the fact that someone thought of you. We forgot! We have taught our kids to be unappreciative. Then we get mad at them when they are.

The stress of this season breaks up relationships. We have come to value the things given over the giver. If your spouse or significant other doesn't give you what you want at the price point you expect, there is NO Peace on Earth. We forgot. 

• Let's remember to treat each other the way we want to be treated; with love and respect.
• Let's remember to value the person more than anything they give, even if all they can give is a smile and a hug.
• Let's remember the joy many of us felt as children. 

    If you don't have those kind of memories begin to make them now. Those of us who have them, share that love with them.

• Let's remember "To do to others what we want done to us."

          I guess in this perverted world I should explain. I mean treat others with the love and respect you want to get. Don't fight in the stores and don't curse people out in the parking lots.

• Let's remember to be kind and spread joy. 

Don't forget. The Messiah's birth was to bring Peace not Stress. 

Remember!

Have Very, Blessed, Joyful, and Loving CHRISTmas celebration!

The Thanksgiving Cooking Experiment

I hope you had a wonderful time with your family. It was just my husband and I. Our children were away this year. I had a ball. Not because they were away though. I experimented with our traditional recipes. I was motivated by my newly vegan son and my dairy-intolerant grand-baby. I had wanted to try vegan cooking for a while and I figured now was a good time.

Mac and Cheese

Attention went first to my mac and cheese. This is my grandmother's mac and cheese so the flavors are sacred. I decided to use rice elbow macaroni. I never used it before. Next concern: How do you bring those southern flavors to vegan world: Butter, real milk, sharp and mild cheddar cheese? I was skeptical but I went all in. I replaced the cheese with veggie cheese. I replaced the milk with flax seed milk. I found it to be creamier than almond and other nut milks I've tried. However, what to do about butter? I found some vegan butter in my favorite organic store but the cost was ridiculous. Google came through. I found several vegan sites that had recipes for making your own vegan butter without using soy products. I made my first non-dairy butter. The results were good but I still didn't know how it would work in my mac and cheese. It was wonderful. That gave me hope for my sweet potato pie.

Sweet Potato Pie

This was not completely vegan but it was still an experiment. I used my non-dairy butter, a blend of flax and evaporated milk and egg. I thought my husband had bought an egg substitute but he bought egg whites instead. The filling was good. The real experiment was the pie crust. I decided to try gluten free flour. Who knows why? I used coconut oil instead of vegetable oil or shortening. I either had a crumbling mess or something that was very oily looking. I wanted that flaky crust I was familiar with. As it turned out, the taste was great but the texture was too thin. Saved by the flavors.

I have learned a lot through this experiment.

1. I will never plan to buy dairy butter again. 
2. I have since found a recipe for homemade baking shortening. That's next. 
3. Coconut oil, refined and unrefined are my new best friends. It has so many uses besides cooking. 
4. I have found a website of a vegan sweet potato expert. Things are looking up for my Christmas pies.  http://sweetpotatosoul.com/2014/01/how-to-make-vegan-sweet-potato-pie.html
5. Sunflower oil has entered my pantry.
6. I found non-soy, non-gluten, non-wheat egg replacer. They also gave the ingredients and I have them in my cabinet. I wonder if I can make my own?
7. I just found an egg replacer recipe using chia seed. Who knew? Got to try this. http://www.foodrenegade.com/how-make-egg-substitute-chia-seeds/

I also found this link for powdered egg replacer recipe. If any of you have used these recipes, I would certainly like to hear from you. My holiday baking begins in about a week and a half. I am planning to experiment ahead of time.

Vegans out there please share your experience and wisdom. I am on fire to test things out.

In the Midst of the Storm

I awaken yesterday morning from a very interesting dream. I was driving down from the mountains in my VW Bug. It was forecasted to snow that evening and I wanted to get home before it did. I left early enough according to the forecast but the snow came earlier and stronger than they predicted. Visibility diminished quickly. I tried to continue but I couldn't see. Suddenly, I heard a voice say "Stop." I thought, "In the middle of the road?Some other driver may hit me. " Then I heard the voice say louder, "Stop!" So I stopped. I want you to know, there was no one human in the car with me or outside the car. After I came to a complete stop, the voice said,

"Leave your engine running, turn off your lights and turn your heat down to a comfortable but low temperature."

 I was bewildered, and somewhat anxious but I obeyed the voice. Then the voice said,

" Get out and pour salt around your tires and a few feet in front and behind the car and along side  your door.

I obeyed. By this time I had decided this must be God because there was no other explanation. I sat in my car and covered up in my blanket. Yeah, where did a blanket come from? I, peacefully, fell asleep. I slept the rest of the night and was awaken by the noise of the snow plows that were clearing the highway. There was a tapping on my window. It was one of the drivers who said, he was able to distinguish the shape of the car because the snow did not completely cover me. What was he talking about. I got out and saw that my car should have been completely covered to look like the snow  bank. It was the salt. Around my car, the snow melted immediately, and did not form one mound. Then I woke up.

This was very bizarre. My first thought.

First of all why would I have salt in the car? Another thing, I don't own a VW Bug. The other odd thing is there were chains on the tires. I don't live in the snow.  Why would I have these things?

 I lay in my bed thinking about it. This was a very vivid, detailed dream and that usually means God is trying to tell me something. But, What? Is an early storm coming? Am I in the midst of the storm now? Is it someone else's storm since I don't own those things? Don't know.

I concluded, that regardless, I was instructed how to handle the storm. I was protected during the storm,  I was delivered from the storm and I was not alone. My All Sufficient, Self-Existing, Omnipresent God was with me.

I had peace in the midst of the storm.

My experience with Essential Oils

For years we have been told about massage therapy and aroma therapy. I really didn't take it seriously until a few years ago. I knew I like candles burning when I took a scented bubble bath. I knew the lavender scent was my favorite because it was relaxing. What I didn't know was why. I didn't even consider investigating the properties of lavender. About two or three years ago I was introduced to Young Living Essential Oils (YLEO). A member of our church introduced us to a couple visiting who were distributors of YLEO. They came over to our home and shared the benefits of essential oils. More than that, the wife massaged my husband's legs and knees with the oils. At that time he was in a lot of pain and was having difficulty walking. The oils relaxed his muscles and aided in the relief of the pain. He was sold. We ordered the oils mainly for him. I still didn't get on board fully. I wasn't against them but just wasn't ready to be involved with selling oils. I had just gotten burned with another so called business opportunity and I wasn't interested. I was satisfied to be a distributor for the purpose of buying the oils for my husband.

Over the next two years, my attitude changed. I began using the oils for my lower back pain, sore throat, congestion, stress and fatigue. The scents were so relaxing. My husband and I joking call the cloves and thieves oil our scented heating pads. Now here is the clincher that tossed me to the business side. My mother has severe arthritis and she has heart disease. Her doctors had to change her arthritis pain medication to something less effective because it affected her heart. For weeks afterwards she had difficulty sleeping. Her pain was worse at night. She told me what was going on so I decided to try rubbing her legs with some of the oils. I decided to use one of our scented heating pads, Thieves. I massaged her legs and feet when I got there. Shortly, she told me the pain was reducing to a bearable intensity.  I hadn't read about the foot reflexology yet. I just massaged her legs and feet. I left the Thieves with her because it did relax her while I was there. She called me the next day and told me she slept the entire night. After four nights I checked in to see if it was a fluke. It was not. She slept every night after that. She then put it on her other joints. My Mom and I are sold. Her side benefit was relief from sinus congestion just by having the essence in the room.

I am now a student of the essential oils. It just supports the belief that God placed everything on earth in our plant life for our health. You can have similar experiences at home that you have at the day spa. You can massage your own legs, feet, hands and neck. You can get a loved one to massage your back. Home spa with the occasional visit to the day spa.

It is not about having more medicine or that the essential oils are medicine in the American Medical Association or the Food and Drug Administration defining way. But if something natural aids your medication or relaxes the tension by infusing it into the air or rubbing it on your body then there is benefit to your well being. It will at least comfort you while the AMA is looking for a cure or better medication for what ails you.

If you would like to experience Young Living Essential Oils or become a distributor, click the Get Essential Oils link on the sidebar. You are not required to distribute if you don't want to. I didn't and no one harassed me to do so. I did, however, get the discount for being a member.  Try it. You won't be sorry.

In Spite of It All

This week has been very interesting for my family. We gathered together for a wonderful family dinner on Sunday at my mother's house. My sisters and their families were there, along with some close friends. The meal was off the chain. We laughed and joked until late into the night. The next morning we gathered at Kaiser Permanente, Sunset Blvd for one of two brain surgeries one of my sister's faced. There were prayers and some were anxious but she and I had complete peace. God promised that He would not allow us to be caught unaware. Translation, He would warn us or give us divine intel so that we could prepare for what was coming. She and I were at peace. There was no need to be forewarned because everything was fine. Parking created the greatest anxiety. It was a tiring day because they kept delaying the time of her surgery. A more critical patient arrived and had priority. The family stayed. We had favor from the ICU staff. They allowed all of us to enter her room at the same time. ICU's usually limit the number of people who can enter.

The next morning those of us who went home to sleep re-assembled. This time they took her on time. So we gathered and waited. About 4pm the doctor emerged to tell us the surgery was a success. The tumor was removed, there was minimal bleeding and her vitals were stable. About 6pm we were able to see her. Yes, they allowed all of us to enter the ICU unit. We stood outside her room and took turns going in. The funny thing is, she gave the orders. She first sent for her kids, then parents, and then sisters. She showed us that she was still our loving organizer. She was released from the hospital on Friday and she is resting at home.

In Spite of the seriousness of the occasion, we had a wonderful family reunion. All that time spent waiting was spent talking and catching up on each others lives. There was no sense of doom. We could have easily still been in my mother's family room. Being with family can be a time of warm, comforting love or a time of anger and chaos. Choose love regardless of the situation.

In Spite of It All choose to LOVE and ENJOY your Family!

Was He Preparing Me?

Today, I watched a video about mental illness and mental wellness. As I watched my mind drifted back to my childhood and I got a powerful jolt. Was God preparing me for this new direction in my life even then? Let me explain.

The last few years I have been involved with the African American Family Wellness Group which is the black cultural competency component for the Department of Mental Health. My interest in joining the group was birthed in my dealing with the young men and women that participated in our after school program. These children had varying mental wellness issues. Some were diagnosed as ADHD; others had image problems that resulted in acting out. Still others were academically deficient but there was no learning disability present. They got behind in their grade level, behaved badly and ended up in special education where they continued to slide down that slope to dropout land. That just exacerbated the problem which were originally unnoticed, unattended, emotional problems stemming from family drama, bullying or some other trauma. I realized that the parents of these kids needed help so they could help their children.

I never had any intent to get involved in mental health. Like most people, when mental illness is mentioned I thought of the clinically insane, mentally challenged people that need medication, continuing therapy and observation and possibly institutionalizing. That was my experience.
When I was a young child, one of our neighbors gathered us neighborhood kids up to take us to entertain people in the minimum security section of the local mental hospital. We called her and the ladies with her, The Gray ladies, because they wore gray uniforms. I knew we made the people happy but I didn't like it when they wanted to hug us and kiss on us. It was creepy. But we had to let them to a point. We were shown how to minimize their contact without hurting their feelings.  Was this the first step in my training?

My next phase of training occurred at age 16. A government employment program designed for underprivileged kids (aka black kids) was the tool used. We were assigned to the Park and Recreation department of Bryce Mental Hospital. Yes, the very same hospital with the Gray Ladies. We assisted the psychologists and therapists with physical activities and games. That was a very educational summer. Our clients included the criminally insane, nymphomaniacs, manic depressives, schizophrenics, and a young lady of society placed there because she embarrassed her parents by getting pregnant.

My last phase at this hospital was while I was in college. I was employed as a file clerk. Phase Three. I worked directly with the Supervising doctor and his nurses. I had access to all their records. That is why I was amazed that I didn't know the gentleman who cleaned my office was a paranoid schizophrenic with homicidal tendencies until my last day there. I knew he was ill but I never had a reason to fear him. That day he asked me if there was anything he could do for me, my office, before Monday. I told him I would not be back. It was my last day because I had to return to college. He lost it. I was trapped in my office. He never threaten me. My fear or panic was short lived. I felt sad that I had triggered him. He was whisked away to be medicated.

Was I being prepared for this next phase in my life? I have a passion for the mental wellness of Black male kids and their families. I want to interrupt the prison pipeline. I want to restore their esteem and understanding that they were created for greatness not prison slavery. I want to wake up my community to the power they possess to change these dynamics. I want to save their lives.

I am more awakened and ready for this journey. Let's do this, God. Thanks for preparing me, even when I could not recognize your hand or your presence.

Comment Mystery Solved

Hey Friends,

Some of you have said you wanted to comment but it was confusing or difficult. I went to the blog as a guest and tried to comment. Here is what I discovered had to be done to be successful.

If there have been no comments click on "No Comments" and a drop box will appear.

In the box that says "Comment As" click on the arrow and your choices will appear.

You may choose:

Google Account - You will have to sign in to your account

                                              This is true for the other accounts listed

                                   Name/URL- Type your name. 

                                        If you have a website, etc type the URL, if not leave it blank.

                                   Anonymous - you don't want to be known

If you chose Name or Anonymous, when you publish it will ask you to prove you are not a robot by typing in the numbers or letters shown.

It will then publish your comments.

I hope this helps. I really would like to read your comments.

My Wagon Ran Off The Road

You know how people say they "fell off the wagon" when they return to an old habit that they had walked away from? Well, I didn't fall off the wagon. My wagon ran off the road, down the hill and flipped over, pinning me down in the ravine. I allowed other people to derail me. Yes, that's right. I allowed. I can't blame anyone else. The funny thing is I continued to study about good health through good nutrition as I rolled down the hill.

So what is your point. My point is that even the knowledgeable, and I have a lot left to learn, can succumb to their weaknesses. I asked myself the question "How can I help anyone else when I can't help myself." The only thing I can see coming from this is an understanding of others' struggles. If this helps me have more compassion for them then it is worth it. It takes a former alcoholic to best help an alcoholic, so I guess I am going to be that foodaholic to help other food drunks.

My victory will come but it won't come without a strong, hard fight.

Once again I am beginning. Detox begins today. Getting the sugar out of my system. I cannot eat from the king's table. I have to remain vigilante minute by minute. I am listening to Fred Hammond's We are More than Able. 

"Remember your every lion's den and your last Red Sea." 

I am more than able.With the Lord on my side I can do it.

 I have to keep repeating that as I Praise Him through the Night. It is so on time.

I allowed former insecurities triggered by other peoples' accusations and the hurt they caused to become boulders on my road. I am getting a brand new wagon and getting back on the road. I have cleared these boulders and I plan to pay attention to avoid future obstacles.

My Victory is Eminent!

Sistah Strength

It was a powerful and beautiful thing to see black woman of different ages and backgrounds working together for a common cause. We dispelled the lie that we are a bunch of angry woman who always want to fight. We dispelled the lie that we are ignorant and hoochie only. We dispelled the lie that no man can work with us and be supported for his strength.
Now this is not news to most of us. We know our strength is not angry. Our assertiveness is not angry. It is knowledge, wisdom and respect. For my sisters out there that have accepted the lie, give it back. You are better than that.

On Saturday, October 11th a group of black women executed the plan that a subset of those women created in order to present to the community a women's symposium on depression. We worked as a team, a well-oiled machine. Additionally, our host an Hispanic Pastor and one of his female (Latina) members worked with us. She became part of the female team. Pastor Ruben was our spiritual leader that day but he rolled up his sleeves and served us. There was mutual respect shown both ways. The other men who were presenters or vendors worked with us. They  were PhD's, Pastors and professionals. They all could have demanded respect because of their positions but they supported us, instead. They did not demand homage to be paid to them. They wanted us to be successful and helped us get there. This is how it is suppose to work; together making possible everyone's success.

Today, I worked with some different sisters at church. This was a mixed ethnic group and once again the "sistahs" worked like a machine. A well-oiled machine. To those who want to continue to portray us as angry, sex-crazed, classless, ugly, bossy, people, let me set you straight.

• We are loving, protective, assertive, strong, sexy but not sex-crazed, beautiful, classy, women.
• When we commit, you can count on us. 
• We are the people who have your back.

So when we seem bossy and angry, step back and ask why. It is probably because we are trying to protect YOU; help YOU. We are working for the best for YOU.

We love YOU.

Stress Reduction Check In

I began a stress reduction plan last month. I thought it might be good for accountability's sake to give an update on my progress.

I am eliminating others peoples drama from my life. Being a pastor's wife puts me in a position to face or be exposed to "other people's drama." I cab't eliminate nor do I want to eliminate the people, but I can eliminate my acceptance of the associated stress. What I am trying to say is, I can listen, empathize, problem-solve and love you without allowing your issue to stress me out. I had a recent situation that actually hurt me and made me angry. After stepping back and looking at things objectively, I realized it was not my issue. I didn't have to hurt and I didn't have to be angry, so I stopped both. Stress reduced!

I have had a few days that I did something I enjoyed that was not about church or the Outreach Center. I need more of those but I have started. Stress reducing!

I have begun exercising. I am still not as consistent as I need to be or would like. Still working on that. Stress Reducing!

Some of you commented or sent me messages stating you were going to create and begin your own stress reduction plan. How are you doing?

Let's keep it up so we can be healthier, mentally and physically.